Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
