i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
