Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I would fuck him just for his dog
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
