um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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