How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize