you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
