I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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