Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
