"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you didnt know i had herpes?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
