Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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