dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize