I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I touched a dick in church today
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
