sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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