I didn't shave. On purpose
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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