you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
