I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
