Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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