i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
