I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
