Everything about him screamed your future.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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