I just saw a hot homeless man
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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