I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
being pregnant is like rehab
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
