what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
