How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
