would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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