Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You are a genius and a whore.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
