You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Thank you for not boning my boss.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
