I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We left an ass print on the piano.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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