You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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