Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
