yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
