he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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