I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize