they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
