i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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