Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
