I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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