just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
