Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
