Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
