she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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