he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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