girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
