If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
