I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize