whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
