So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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