this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
