Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize