she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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