grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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