i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
