shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
