Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
