i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize