I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How does one acquire holy water?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
