Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
