wat bout pragnant strippers??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize