I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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