The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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