My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
