Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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