You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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