i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
