oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
