you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Still dying that you shit outside
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
