WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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