Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
