I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
