sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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