Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
