He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
