Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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