It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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