Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
