i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
