don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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