i would punch a child for taco bell
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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