Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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