why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
