But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
